Second chances

 

I met him

On a random day of September

When the heavy clouds were crying and screaming forcefully,

Matching the pieces of my conflicted heart.

They were like trying to express

Something,

Anything

To make their presence known so desperately,

To be heard in the stone cold silence

Enveloping the world at the moment

But it was like nobody paid attention.

Nobody even cared.

I was walking on the sidewalk alone

Passing through crowds and crowds of too busy people

Hurrying to their comforting yet lonely homes

Slightly wondering

How could I feel so broken inside,

How could I forget my own identity

Being in front of such a reckless masterpiece

Developing through my own blazing eyes.

I was mesmerized by the unspoken power of the world’s creation

Yet the life in me was slowly slipping away.

I was drown in my own selfish thoughts,

Resigned of my troubled past

And yet scared of the future,

Of life,

Of myself.

I didn’t want to admit then,

To acknowledge,

To let myself wholly feel

the heaviness my heart carried

for so long.

I was defeated by my own self

And thought I could never do anything to change it.

I didn’t believe in second chances at all

Because I wasn’t in some overly cheesy movie

It was such a foreign concept to me.

Perhaps that is why I felt

A pair of curious and piercing eyes staring

Intensely,

Curiously,

Utterly,

Not at me

But through my very own soul.

It was like he had the ability to fix back the pieces

Into the place they belonged

Like a lost game of puzzle

Only that the puzzle was the way to my heart.

He sparkled something in me,

He ignited a long forgotten fire into my soul

Which I didn’t know it even existed anymore

In just a couple of mere seconds.

His intimidating yet captivating aura

Instead of pulling me away from the unknown,

It only pulled me closer and deeper to each other.

It was something I never experienced before

Raw,

Pure,

Fascinating,

Different,

Simply unique.

My head was spinning

My heart was bursting out of my chest

My mind was screaming at me to just run as far as I can,

That I couldn’t stand another one

In my too long series of dissapointments.

The connection and desire were so much stronger though

Putting my heart in charge of my actions and feelings

For once,I felt peaceful with myself.

We were smiling softly at each other and

The world seemed like a happy place again

Still the same burning sensation remained

And deep inside of me,

I wasn’t able to comprehend that

In a sea full of people,

He was the only one brave enough to see me

The real me.
 And suddenly,I didn’t feel alone anymore.

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Living life one step at a time

Yesterday,our “Blogging 101” daily assigment was to comment on at least four blogs that spoke to us or we can relate in some kind of way.Although I connected with a lot of people and found myself in their stories and thoughts,I figured that,as today’s assigment told us to create a post based on one of the best posts I’ve stumbled upon,I should share my own thoughts and inspiration I gain from a pretty powerful and beautiful woman.

Coming across Nancy Roman’s blog which,by the way,you must take a look on because it’s so good and incredibly inspiring,was one of the moments when I realized,once again,why creating a blog myself was the wisest decision ever.I think it has to do a lot with the fact that the power,wisdom,love and pure passion which exist beyond the words,our tool of creation in this virtual world of blogging,blossoming into the posts each of us publish,can touch ,mark,empower,encourage and surprinsingly,change your train of thoughts and beliefs.The undeniable  connection between people from all over  the world I find it quite magical and even fascinating because,let’s face it,we just don’t estabilish a bound with anybody.Even with our neighbors or mutual friends is a hard work mission,which you could admit should have been far easier due to seeing the other person you interact with and discover if she/he “clicks” with who you really are.But,you see,what seems easier in the first place is very often not the answer we’ve been looking or craving for.

I must confess that I was touched and very impressed by a variety of blogs by now,mind my “newbie”status,who have this blog a little over two months,including this one I mentioned earlier above.Why? Because I discovered a couple of precious lessons,written in a funny and accesible approach,even for a 17 years old teenager like me.

Nowadays,I feel like the society we are living in strives so hardly to reach and obtain the so called “perfection” of bodies or faces (whatever that means) instead of evolving and growing spiritually or mentally,in order to truly become stronger,wiser and happier human beings.People tend to deny and refuse with any price their age,considering that being old (whatever age that means for them) will cut their chances of a well lived and valuable life.Whatever stage they find themselves in life,they feel the need to change something at them whether by crappy surgeries,dangerous and mostly unsuccessful  treatments or simply anything that could make them be young forever and ever.

Well,although the idea of living forever sounds more appealing to me rather than having the “perfect” body or face or hair,I  don’t get why don’t you just embrace who you truly are?

You can not be young forever,but you have the power to choose every single day if you want to spend your life like one.

Nancy’s post,called “The old woman I will be”speaks very loud to me and define exactly,from her perspective,that being old doesn’t mean you have to feel like one,that considering yourself chained or traped in some kind of cell,without having the power to do whatever you please or want is strongly mistaken.Age is just a number,it doesn’t define you unless you allow it.Truth is you have all the power in the world to do everything and anything,at any day,at any age,at any moment of your crazy ride called life.I,also,firmly believe that every age is a gift which brings maturity,intelligence,more beauty to your heart and soul,a better level of capacity of understanding and seeing the world we are living in,so we need to cherish and be deeply grateful for every single day.We cannot take it back.

The point is that beauty,happiness and love,the real and most intense ones,could be achieved and felt throughout your whole life.You don’t have to constantly run or chase this stereotypical and overrated perfection because it’s a pure illusion that sadly,our twisted society seems to promote these days.Don’t let you get fooled in some of life’s traps.They’re not what matter or count.
What matters the most is you.


 

An open letter to my future self

Dear future me,

   When you will read this,you will most probably have your life figured it out.But not in the way some may think,like having a slightly boring routine or uneventful days.You will hate that.Just like you are doing now.

  What I am certain about is that you will be in a complete awe of living in this world.You will fall more and more in love with everything you see,feel,discover and experience throughout your unmissable journey.Each passing day will bring something exciting,thrillingly beautiful,captivating, which will make you feel alive.Because that is why you’re put on Earth anyway.To be alive,not only to exist.That’s overrated.

  I don’t know how many years will pass until you’ll find this locked in one of your random and hopefully,not so messy drawers.I intend on printing it,just to be close to you whenever you feel like nothing is worth it.I hate to tell you this,but you will feel it at times.I can only pray to be as scarcely as possible.But that will not bring you down,not at all.You will learn that nothing will ever have the power to tear you apart.Except yourself.You’ll figure out that later.When you’ll not be drunk.Joking.I guess.

  Life will bring you a lot of wonderful and unforgettable memories to keep you sane.Do you want to know why? Because you will create them by fighting with all your will and fierceness in achieving your goals,making your dreams become reality and living everyday as it will be your last.As a good giver,you will bring something to the world,too.Do you want to know what? Happiness.So much happiness.Your happiness will become a source of inspiration to others.Your happiness will light others’s path.Your positivity will bring out the best of you and hopefully,of the ones who will be around you,too.Why is that?Simply because you realized,years ago,that happiness is the purest and most intense feeling we are blessed to experience.You always loved being happy and will do everything you can to feel it and to live accordingly.

   Better than that,you’ll help,support and encourage the people you’ll meet across your road by spreading happiness into their minds and bodies.It would not be an easy mission because you will figure out that everyone has a story,a novel written by themselves,full of challenges,beauty,lessons and perhaps inner struggles.It will bring you an unmeasurable sadness in your heart,but it will be the trigger,which will motivate you further and stronger to be there for them,as well as for your own self.To show them the bright side and dissipate the one which controls and whispers them that life couldn’t be happy again.It will always get better.You’ll demonstrate everyone,including yourself,that having persevering faith and hope will lead to miracles.

   Regarding meeting your soulmate or whatever will be called those days,you’ll not even worry about it.You’re tired of hearing this and certaintly,you will look at happiness as a self-evolution and self-growth process,not as being head over heels over a damn guy who gives shitty excuses or doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated.Anyway,you will never accept that.You will learn that you are enough.You are whole.Always was,always will be.You don’t need anyone to complete or to love you in pieces.That’s loads of crap.I’m so glad you learned this by now.

     Moving on,life will give you both good and unfortunate moments.You’re no exception.The way you will handle them is what truly counts here.However,with your positivity cursing through your mind and soul,you will get to look at every obstacle getting in your way as the ideal chance to learn valuable lessons and to discover hidden parts of yourself.Some of them you will never thought they even existed.You will not be scared by them.You will have a healthy and clear perspective of life and will not let it give you a hard time.You’ll see that even when times are tough,you will always have a choice to make.Whether to let the pain dominate your entire being and drown you effortessly into darkness or to rise higher from the shreds of the ground,only to become so much stronger than before.I trust you will choose wisely.

   Oh,and let me tell you about travelling.You’ll become obsessed with discovering new places,cultures,customs and getting to know what make them so special and purely different.Okay,you already were from your teenage years,but you’ll be more and more thrilled about the magnitude of the world.If that could be possible.You will travel the world,just as you wished so badly.You will gain knowledge,love,richness in thoughts,memories and soul,crazy experiences and of course,a one of a kind happiness.The one that consumes you and makes you feel like you’ve made it.Not by chasing money,crappy useless things but by chasing your dreams and being your true self.

You will become a wonderful,proud,ecstatic,independent,overly excited about food and planes woman.I won’t blame you for the last part,though.

You will live every day as a once in a lifetime adventure.

You will wholeheartedly love yourself.Why? Because you are all you’ve got.

You will find your path and follow it faithfully.

You’ll never be alone.

You will made it.I know you will.

 

Love,

Present Me

Who I am and why I’m here

Β  Β  Β  Who am I?

Well,I never kind of answered to this question to myself before.I mean,I heard it,I even wrote it right here,right now,but never actually thought of it in its deep and meaningful entirety.It’s one of the simplest yet the most complicated question I’ve ever face with in my life.

To start with,I can proudly say that I am the creation of God.And I feel already unique by just that,because to be loved in this unmeasurable way so as to walk on this Earth is an exquisite form of a blessing.The first blessing,along with so many others that I have the power to count and be eternally grateful for.

I am not like everybody else.Nobody is me.I am me.I am different.I am unique.I am perfectly imperfect.Oh,and guess what?I am proud of me,I still love myself and I am thankful for every flaw I have.I am beautiful and I don’t need anyone to tell me otherwise because I would never really believe them.Why?Simply because I know that every single one of us represents an one of a kind beauty.Both inside and out.That makes me smile.And at some times not,noting that not many people are aware of this incredibly powerful fact.It’s really a shame to not acknowledge your power and your beauty in the world.

I am a person,a teenage girl and I feel intensely,I see beauty wherever I take a look,I think way too much,I love madly and I experiment my life in the best way I can.It may be tough,pointless,hard,challenging sometimes,but in the end, it’s always worth it.A road could never miss obstacles or impediments,right?But it’s still the best thing ever.Thruth is we only get to live once.We should make it right.Or as right as we can.

However,seeing that the world,along with its citizens are the pure creation of the so loving God,I often tend to feel like it’s one of my inner missions to create something on my turn,while being here.Anything that make me truly feel happy,content,satisfied,powerful and give me a positive and undeniable energy.So that’s when I began writing.Firstly,through my little diary I’ve received as a Christmas gift from my beautiful mom,I began developing my not so known back then interest.Slowly,but surely,it became a passion,which I could never replace or get rid of.It gave my soul power to speak,wings to fly and a voice,full of confidence,ready to be heard.Something so rarely met.Now,as it became one of my greatest passions,I felt like I could learn so much more by creating a blog.My blog.A blog of anything and everything.I haven’t even categorized in into a certain type,simply because I haven’t found one that could describe me or my twisted personality.I don’t think it exists.Nevertheless,this isn’t what matters the most.

My goal by entering this exciting and thrilling world of blogging was to inspire myself by inspiring the others around me.I wanted and still wholeheartedly want to inspire joy,beauty,positiveness and an immense love through my posts and sayings.This way,I am able to grow and develop myself into a better and so much happier person each day.It brings me an infinite happiness just realizing that I was brave enough to break my walls of uncertainty,create this blog and make my dreams,aspirations and goals alive.

I hope to achieve what I’ve got on my mind and so much more,to dream on endlessly,with my eyes open and to make every day of my beautiful life count by loving and living fully.