The pursuit of happiness

  At the end of this challenging,yet indeed rewarding year that flew more quickly than I could comprehend,I choose to reflect upon myself and my most beloved treasures.

  Looking in retrospective,I believe that this year brought me more than I could ever hoped for.I laughed a lot.I cried.I smiled.I loved deeply.I cared.I won.I learned.I did.I achieved.I lived.There is nothing more gratifying than simply acknowledging all the emotions that have enveloped me,that I have felt with such an intensity,as well as that have been a part of me during all the encounters I had this year.To feel whatever I felt the need to,without any constraint,remains one of the best feelings in the world.To be able to express myself in order to find answers to whatever I was looking for on my own is the greatest way to know,discover and love myself more each day.Still,I am incredibly overhelmed by every single thing,experience,lesson and blessing that I have the power to count.Regardless of its nature,each moment was different and was meant to made me feel something.That something made me evolve,think further and broaden my horizons in ways that I didn’t even dared to think about before.

  You see,if is one thing that I don’t believe in,that is coincidences.Thefore,I am aware that everything that I have been through,both good and less good,was destined for me and was something that I could handle.Better or worse,time had told or showed me.Either way,reflecting upon this,I do not think that my sorrows or bad times didn’t play a massive part in my self-development process.I like to see them as essential pages,without this chapter couldn’t be truly complete or without I couldn’t treasure and acknowledge my happiness entirely afterwards.

  As this year slowly draws to a nostalgic close,I feel the need to express my pure emotions towards everything I have obtained,as well as I have lost,every memory that I am filled with in my heart and soul,every person that I have met and  that have managed to change me in ways I couldn’t imagined.I could not wrap my mind on how I have all these people by my side and all the loving memories to hold onto and to treasure deeply.

  I feel a better,happier and the richest person here just by thinking that my life had and will always have the same pursuit that will continue to guide me faithfully throughout this crazy journey-happiness.

  May this new year lead you to discover your own pursuit and to never,ever give up on anything that makes your heart race.That’s what life is all about.

           

Change-The chance to pursue your dreams?

   If is one essential thing I have learned and have counted on it faithfully by now,is that change is so damn good and such a bold move for those who dare to live.Be it about a change in your daily behaviour,thoughts,feelings,a change of background,a change of places ,of work,of plans or even a major change in your self development process,there is always something benefic,inspirational and merely refreshing in making a difference.

    With or without our will,we are faced with changes all the time.Life puts us on edge countlessly,in order to bring out what is the best within us,as well as to be a quick challenge for ourselves,whether or not we will lose our authenticity along the road. Regardless its nature,the way we cope with the effects that a change produces in our lives on a daily basis is the main difficulty here.While some may have a clear and healthy perspective of life,thinking with excitement and purely opening their hearts in front of a new opportunity to learn,grow and evolve,others may not have the same attitude of dealing with the insecurities and risks that a change might include.

     Nevertheless,what is right on this matter?

   First of all,change means SACRIFICE.Either we’re speaking about a relationship between two people,a family,a friendship situation or even getting a job or a place in a whole new city/country/state,you have to consider that along the countless hours of hardwork that had finally paid off,there has to be some sort of compromise that you need to overcome and that may or may not stand in the way of your utter happiness.Now,in order to do this,you have to prioritize your feelings,as well as your desires for your own self.You need to stand your ground and truly reflect on what does this new change will mean to you and your loved ones as well.You could answer yourself the following questions:

 Is this change going to be a step closer in fulfilling my dreams?

 Will it make me truly happy and content with myself,regardless how many people I may left behind?

 In 5 years from now,is my decision still going to make me proud?

 What will I gain is better from what will I have to lose in the process?

   Reaching this point,I tend to believe that no amount of questions could compete with your determined heart to achieve what you’ve got on your mind.There’s nothing stronger than what your soul tells you to do.So,just follow it.Follow your heart.Believe in your intuition.They can do no wrong.They would certainly lead you into the best place you could be at that certain stage in your life.

   Secondly,change expects TRUST.To have such a belief and confidence in yourself as to know that the differences and challenges that appear on your journey serve the main purpose of shaping you into a better,wiser,more experienced,as well as a happier human being is something not many people entirely own.Why not? This should all of us be asking.Why should we let fear or doubt dominate our hearts instead of joyful emotions that could actually do us some good,like faith,hope or elation for what is to come next? The world itself is made of changes.

    I guess that what a lot of us fail to realize at times is that believing in your own self is the best thing you could always do,regardless anything that may interfere unexpectedly in our lives.Thruth is,most of the changes that happen in life come  in the most unexpected shapes,perhaps at the most uncertain times.You cannot control what your life is going to bring to you,but you do have a say in what can or can not control you.It is all up to you,from how you look at your own person to how you interpret whatever it is  purposely given to you.Easy as that.

   Lastly,change involves BOLDNESS.As beneficial as change indeed is,it doesn’t always pay an easy price thus it takes a lot of courage to actually go for it and take a step forward towards living your dreams.It may seem unsure,unpredictable,scary at some times,but everything that matters is how you are going to take charge of your life and the decisions,along with the sacrifices you are willing or not to make.

  Personally,I love to embrace every change that comes my way and associate it with an ideal chance to develop myself,to expand my horizons of feeling and thinking,to discover,to learn,to become richer in knowledge and memories,as well as to evolve into the best person I could be.

  How do you perceive the changes you come across in life?

Holding on and letting go

There comes a breaking point in life when the best thing you can possibly do is to let go.The pieces of your heart may be torn or grouped into pain,sadness,betrayal,perhaps regret,into millions of twisted,unexplainable emotions,yet your mind lives.It is always  there,wondering how could you hold on so long onto that certain person.In your most vulnerable state,despite that it might seem like you are absolutely powerless,you have the strength within yourself to allow your mind to take charge and clean up the absolute mess your heart, once again,managed to create,without your knowledge or consent.It could look like the easiest thing to do,to switch from irrationality to rationality,like it’s just an ordinary command on your remote,but the amount of emotional damage is so much stronger,screaming internally at you to just let go.Let go of everything that had taken away your substance as a human being,that had made you feel unworthy,unloved or less important than you utterly are.Your heart may seem defeated at first,alone,with no further destination,but what honestly matters always conquers.And that is the inner you,hidden in the train of your thoughts and underneath your shadows all along.You may have thought the inner you didn’t even exist anymore because most of us have in our human nature this unbelievably big amount of love that easily reaches the love we have for ourselves.We can’t help it sometimes,but I pretty much think we could balance the two of them.

     You see,we have a tendency of loving either too little or too hard.I guess we are ‘all or nothing’ sort of humans.We want to receive love so deeply,we yearn for it all our lives,look for it in every spot,yet we don’t want or know how to give it back,when it is up to us to put our heart out in the open.At least not to the same person that is loving us.That happens a lot,either because we are scared or just plain idiots.But,hey,love cannot be explained,it is only felt.It is totally fair to love whoever you feel on the inside.

     On the other hand,it happens that our love towards someone to be deeper than all the oceans on this Earth and damn crazier than any other fairytale we’ve ever read.I call it the ‘destructive love’ because its core is so unreachable that we get to damage ourselves on the way.In that case,we are absorbed,compelled even,to that love that is fulfilling us emotionally,psyhically and mentally.This kind of love is greater than anything.It holds no limits whatsoever.However,on this unpredictable road,our inner selves are easily forgotten at times,bit by bit,until they managed to dissapear from our daily thoughts at all.That is,I must say,the scariest love of all.That is what makes the whole “letting go” of themselves and “holding on” onto ourselves the hardest to accomplish and put into practice.Here is the turning point,where your authentic self needs to step up and to hold on onto it,while your heart tries desperately to give yet another useless chance.It is a constant battle,whose result always needs to end up with you.

        I firmly consider that no love should be greater or scarier than the love we need to have for ourselves.Not to be narcissistic or delirious,but we are all we have got here.For real.Everyone flies throughout our lives,just like passing birds on the sky going to an always better and warmer place.Or like different pieces of gold,but which turn up to be made from the same metal in the end.That is how it is and you can do nothing about it but learn to love you the most.Not in the way of believing that everything is yours to deserve,but in the raw manner of knowing that you deserve the world if you put up a fight for it.

      I am aware it may not seem this way,but most of the time we are purely options to those who we strongly consider a priority in our lives.It may also take time to notice,but doors are swinging open and close all the time.Nevertheless,the one door which stays still through thin and thick,through sunshine and thunder,through black and white,through happiness and unbearable pain,is you.

       No one should have the right to own you by the love you are wholeheartedly feeling for them.

         No one should ever lose themselves in the process of having somebody else.

         No living soul should ever forget to love themselves in the process of loving someone else.

           Not even you.

An open letter to my future self

Dear future me,

   When you will read this,you will most probably have your life figured it out.But not in the way some may think,like having a slightly boring routine or uneventful days.You will hate that.Just like you are doing now.

  What I am certain about is that you will be in a complete awe of living in this world.You will fall more and more in love with everything you see,feel,discover and experience throughout your unmissable journey.Each passing day will bring something exciting,thrillingly beautiful,captivating, which will make you feel alive.Because that is why you’re put on Earth anyway.To be alive,not only to exist.That’s overrated.

  I don’t know how many years will pass until you’ll find this locked in one of your random and hopefully,not so messy drawers.I intend on printing it,just to be close to you whenever you feel like nothing is worth it.I hate to tell you this,but you will feel it at times.I can only pray to be as scarcely as possible.But that will not bring you down,not at all.You will learn that nothing will ever have the power to tear you apart.Except yourself.You’ll figure out that later.When you’ll not be drunk.Joking.I guess.

  Life will bring you a lot of wonderful and unforgettable memories to keep you sane.Do you want to know why? Because you will create them by fighting with all your will and fierceness in achieving your goals,making your dreams become reality and living everyday as it will be your last.As a good giver,you will bring something to the world,too.Do you want to know what? Happiness.So much happiness.Your happiness will become a source of inspiration to others.Your happiness will light others’s path.Your positivity will bring out the best of you and hopefully,of the ones who will be around you,too.Why is that?Simply because you realized,years ago,that happiness is the purest and most intense feeling we are blessed to experience.You always loved being happy and will do everything you can to feel it and to live accordingly.

   Better than that,you’ll help,support and encourage the people you’ll meet across your road by spreading happiness into their minds and bodies.It would not be an easy mission because you will figure out that everyone has a story,a novel written by themselves,full of challenges,beauty,lessons and perhaps inner struggles.It will bring you an unmeasurable sadness in your heart,but it will be the trigger,which will motivate you further and stronger to be there for them,as well as for your own self.To show them the bright side and dissipate the one which controls and whispers them that life couldn’t be happy again.It will always get better.You’ll demonstrate everyone,including yourself,that having persevering faith and hope will lead to miracles.

   Regarding meeting your soulmate or whatever will be called those days,you’ll not even worry about it.You’re tired of hearing this and certaintly,you will look at happiness as a self-evolution and self-growth process,not as being head over heels over a damn guy who gives shitty excuses or doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated.Anyway,you will never accept that.You will learn that you are enough.You are whole.Always was,always will be.You don’t need anyone to complete or to love you in pieces.That’s loads of crap.I’m so glad you learned this by now.

     Moving on,life will give you both good and unfortunate moments.You’re no exception.The way you will handle them is what truly counts here.However,with your positivity cursing through your mind and soul,you will get to look at every obstacle getting in your way as the ideal chance to learn valuable lessons and to discover hidden parts of yourself.Some of them you will never thought they even existed.You will not be scared by them.You will have a healthy and clear perspective of life and will not let it give you a hard time.You’ll see that even when times are tough,you will always have a choice to make.Whether to let the pain dominate your entire being and drown you effortessly into darkness or to rise higher from the shreds of the ground,only to become so much stronger than before.I trust you will choose wisely.

   Oh,and let me tell you about travelling.You’ll become obsessed with discovering new places,cultures,customs and getting to know what make them so special and purely different.Okay,you already were from your teenage years,but you’ll be more and more thrilled about the magnitude of the world.If that could be possible.You will travel the world,just as you wished so badly.You will gain knowledge,love,richness in thoughts,memories and soul,crazy experiences and of course,a one of a kind happiness.The one that consumes you and makes you feel like you’ve made it.Not by chasing money,crappy useless things but by chasing your dreams and being your true self.

You will become a wonderful,proud,ecstatic,independent,overly excited about food and planes woman.I won’t blame you for the last part,though.

You will live every day as a once in a lifetime adventure.

You will wholeheartedly love yourself.Why? Because you are all you’ve got.

You will find your path and follow it faithfully.

You’ll never be alone.

You will made it.I know you will.

 

Love,

Present Me